The Scariest Road in America?
A sucker for anything horror, I found myself looking up the scariest roads in the U.S. My plan was to make a list and knock them out, one by one, before I die- which hopefully won’t be for a while.
Diving head first into new and exciting territory called “Adventurelust”, I was typing away and before I knew it, happened upon Clinton Road in West Milford, New Jersey. Alas, I had found my muse!
Cue to vigorous research and an unhealthy obsession with satanic activity, genetically engineered mutant hybrid zoo animals, ghost cars with flashing headlights, and ghost boys hiding under bridges throwing coins at suspecting passersby and you have Clinton Road.
In reality, I think it more likely mafia members use this road as a hideout/secret place to get rid of bodies. But I won’t get into that right now.
Since the internet can be unintentionally dishonest sometimes, I took it upon myself to further my knowledge and watch The Lake on Clinton Road. Not having read a summary, I presumed it to be a documentary horror film, shedding insight into this scary road. Makes sense, right?
Though the opening credits left me with doubts of authenticity, I pressed on nonetheless. Here’s how the first five or so minutes of the film went:
*Opening credits with slideshows of article clips about Clinton Road*
(A woman screams in the background) If I remember correctly, this is coming from a movie a couple is watching from their laptop.
Jody: That was creepy.
Guy: Jody, you can’t tell me you believe that shit.
Girl: Well, we just watched a video. It had to have happened.
Guy: Crazy things happen all the time.
Guy: Remember that old lady who fell down the stairs up the street and she died?
Guy: Ok. Is this block haunted?
Guy: And she was creepy as shit too.
Girl: That’s not very nice.
Stellar dialogue y’all. The Lake on Clinton Road, if it isn’t already, needs to be a part of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Can’t you just picture the commentators saying, “And that’s where the big bucks are, folks.”
Short film summary made even shorter- six college kids think they’re going to a beach house, but end up at a cabin near a lake located off of Clinton Road. It’s not a documentary as much as it is a pathetic excuse for a horror film.
Based on my viewing, if you even want to call it that- I don’t know if Clinton Road is all that enticing. A car with flashing headlights isn’t exactly spooky. I can see that on any given night anywhere in the world. And if the movie isn’t dissuading, I won’t remind you again how capable Google search is of fabricating stories to fit their own needs.
This leaves me with a big question mark. What is Clinton Road? Is it like the articles on the internet? Or, are the articles talking about a different place? Did one person make up a story about Clinton Road and everyone followed suit? Is the movie fully fictitious or half true? Is there a beach? Is there a lake nearby? Is there a cabin? Is it a hideout for mafia members? Is it a beautiful area surrounded by lush scenery and a market place that sells plump watermelons, Cuban cigars, and honey?
“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons, It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”– John Lennon