A Walk in Capitol Hill

Just when you thought you were getting a post about Washington D.C., you thought wrong.

This post is about the other Capitol Hill in downtown Seattle, Washington- a very different, probably much more exciting place to be than the Capitol in Washington D.C (but that’s debatable).

Not knowing what to do at night- which makes no sense because I practically grew up here and should know everything about Seattle at this point- my friend and I did what every clueless person would do- and downloaded Tinder.

And, after an uneventful hour of strategic guessing based solely on pictures and vague descriptions, we found a few seemingly normal people to converse with.

The general consensus from these well to do citizens of the Tinder world for Seattle night life? Capitol Hill. Never having heard of it (really, do I not pay attention to things?), we thought it would be a good idea.

Because in our convoluted world, everything is a good idea.

This is how we dressed and looked.


This is a little bit closer to how we should have dressed and looked. Add in a some greasy hair and sour face a la Kurt Cobain combined with a Jersey Shore attitude and Ghostface’s garb from the film “Scream” and we would have fit in just fine.


What did we find at the other Capitol Hill?

Gangs dancing on the streets to the rhythmic beat of loud drums, people screaming at each other, fights happening, pyrolytic activity ensuing, and a homeless man nearly peeing on us.

The places we happened upon during our short visit:

Unicorn Bar- It was packed.

Grim’s Provisions and Spirits- We were in here for about 5 minutes, trying to figure out how to talk to people and where to sit. Failing miserably, we left.

We either arrived downtown too early or too late, on a weird night, or the people on Tinder wanted to trick us into thinking we were going to a normal area of town. When in reality, they secretly knew they would send us out where we would narrowly escape with our lives.

“‘There must be some kind of way out of here,’
Said the joker to the thief
There’s too much confusion
I can’t get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine
Plowmen dig my earth
None of them along the line
Know what any of it is worth.'”

Jimi Hendrix, All Along the Watchtower
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